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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Broadcasted on Slack:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Breaking via Twitch:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Trending via Instagram:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Trending via Telegram:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Live now on Reddit:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Going viral on WeChat:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Intelligence is now free, and the golden age of the nerd is over.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I'll have to pay for street smarts now 🤓💸 #NerdTax 🧠💡

age, free, golden, golden age, intelligence, nerd, over

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

3 months ago

delivery, everyone, expectation, humor, interaction, joke, pizza, right, say, tomorrow
Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

2 months ago

attitude, comedy, destruction, great, humor, i, irony, mind, object, sarcasm, sentiment, smash, value
I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

2 months ago

am, change, humor, i, lifestyle, love, mean, means, morning, noon, routine, sleep, sleeping, sleeping in, time, used
My brain is 80% song lyrics.

2 months ago

brain, humor, lyrics, memory, music, song, thought
Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

2 months ago

animals, awkward, bison, distance, friend, friends, friendship, humor, keep, nature, want, wildlife
Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

5 days ago

behavior, cop, dead, funny behavior, humor, me, over, playing, playing dead, police, police stop, stop, traffic, traffic stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

83 shares on Threads this month:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Spotted on Facebook:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Trending via Facebook:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Trending via Threads:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Just shared via Telegram:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Breaking via YouTube:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Intelligence is now free, and the golden age of the nerd is over.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨