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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Just landed via Reddit:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Going viral on Facebook:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Broadcasted on X:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Making waves on Instagram:

Never trust a wet fart.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

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It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.
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Commentary:
"Staying hydrated: the key to mastering the art of strategic escape routes from endless Zoom calls! 🚰😅🚻"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

42 shares on Slack this month:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,641

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Trending via Instagram:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Trending via Threads:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Trending via WeChat:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Making waves on Messenger:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Just landed via Threads:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

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