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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Seen just now on Twitch:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Just landed via Discord:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Just landed via Facebook:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Live now on WhatsApp:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Going viral on Discord:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Going bananas on X:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful text about embarrassing face-makings that babies totally ignore, humorous and lighthearted.

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Commentary:
When you try to impress a baby with your best goofy face and they look at you like you're just there to change diapers. 😂👶🍼

awkward, awkward moment, baby, care, embarrassing, embarrassment, face, humor, moment, reaction, silly, silly face

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Slack this month:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

60 shares on Threads this month:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

21 shares on X this month:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Breaking via Facebook:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Going viral on Discord:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨