Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, if we're on Twitter like Jesus, does that mean we're spreading the digital version of salvation in 280 characters or less? 🙏📱 Just think of retweets as miracles and hashtags as blessings! 😄 #TwitterJesus #DigitalDiscipleship

among, being, comparison, humor, i’ll, irony, Jesus, media, mentally, mentally ill, poor, prostitute, social, social media, spent, time, Twitter, unemployed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

1 month ago
account, bank, bank account, budgeting, camping, Europe, financial, going, humor, me, planning, summer, summer vacation, travel, travel planning, vacation
Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

1 month ago
bang, courtroom, every, hammer, humor, job, judge, little, only, people, shut, shut up, silence, where, work
I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

1 month ago
6, 6 a.m., a.m., am, early, early riser, energy, exercise, fitness, humor, i, lifestyle, morning, morning run, motivation, people, riser, run, runner, want, whatever
Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

1 month ago
boss, coffee, good, humor, morning, motivation, positivity, strong, today, weird, workplace
If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

1 month ago
dating, gulp, health, humor, i, just, looking, playful, spontaneity, vitamins, wild, wild woman, woman
ROMO (relief of missing out)

1 month ago
anxiety, FOMO, humor, irony, missing, missing out, relief, social, social anxiety

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Going viral on Telegram:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Trending via WhatsApp:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Making waves on Instagram:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏