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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Shared recently on X:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like it's time for a closet ceasefire and a clothes counseling session! 😆👗🚪

argument, closet, clothing, every, fight, humor, item, just, personification, started

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

1 month ago
cautionary, cautionary tale, humor, lotus, taking, tale, time, time off, vacation, white, White Lotus, work
Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

1 month ago
common, common sense, food, fry, girl, humor, just, never, relationship, sense, snack
Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

1 month ago
ahead, bears, evolution, fat, humans, months, say, scientists, sleep, summer
Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

1 month ago
activity, catch, catch up, day, friend, fun, fun activity, heat, hottest, hottest day, interest, pool, socializing, summer, year
I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

2 months ago
aging, aging humor, everyone, found, freak, freak out, funny moment, grey, grey hair, hair, humor, i, meeting, moment, pubic, pubic hair, reaction, surprise, surprise reaction, today, Zoom, Zoom meeting
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

1 month ago
broke, funny situation, house, humor, joke, just, laugh, money, robber, search, situation

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Spotted on Threads:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Trending via Slack:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Going viral on TikTok:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Just landed via Facebook:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Just landed via Twitch:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

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Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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