Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Back to the Future and chill?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Just shared via Instagram:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Just landed via Slack:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Spotted on Messenger:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Just shared via Facebook:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Trending via Twitch:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Witty text about enforcing bedtime rules during a drive, humorous and playful.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🚗💡 "Just broke the news to the kids that the car light is a big no-no during our rides. Next thing you know, they'll be reporting me to the car light police! Gotta uphold the law, even if it's a made-up one! 😄 #ParentingWin"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Discord this month:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,758

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Overthinkaholic!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Breaking via TikTok:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Freshly posted on X:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Live now on TikTok:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Spotted on Discord:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Trending via Messenger:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Making waves on Reddit:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Trending via Twitch:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴