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🚗💡 "Just broke the news to the kids that the car light is a big no-no during our rides. Next thing you know, they'll be reporting me to the car light police! Gotta uphold the law, even if it's a made-up one! 😄 #ParentingWin"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

4 months ago

90, happen, i, never, things, works, worry, worrying
Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

1 month ago

friendship, humor, pinky, pinky promise, promise, still, trust
Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

2 months ago

always, breath, cat, cats, clean, cleaning, detergent, fish, happiness, laundry, laundry detergent, little, smell, vanilla
Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

2 months ago

best, big, eat, food, humor, irony, joke, just, lie, self-deprecation, strong
Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

1 month ago

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Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

2 months ago

emotion, everyday, everyday life, feeling, frustration, humor, i, life, relatable, time, ugh

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Shared recently on Threads:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Trending via Snapchat:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Going viral on X:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Just shared via Facebook:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

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Activity Log ✨

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

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Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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