Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🚗💡 "Just broke the news to the kids that the car light is a big no-no during our rides. Next thing you know, they'll be reporting me to the car light police! Gotta uphold the law, even if it's a made-up one! 😄 #ParentingWin"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

2 months ago

cat, expression, food, humor, ingredient, looking, me, pet, quit, relationship
I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

4 months ago

admitting, admitting wrong, always, being, being right, break, humor, i, love, me, right, sarcasm, self-deprecating, wrong
Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

2 months ago

being, hate, humor, i, irony, me, mean, playful, please, sarcasm, self-deprecation, teasing, wit
They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

6 months ago

album, commentary, conspiracy, Epstein, humor, list, music, phone, phones, send, should, social, social commentary, u2, U2 album
You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

2 months ago

bed, ever, exhaustion, humor, i, morning, relatable, sleep, thought, tonight, wait, wake, wake up
Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

2 months ago

adventure, alive, back, crazy, ever, experience, life, life experience, memory, nostalgia, reflection, still, stuff, survival, think, wonder, younger, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

85 shares on X this month:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

25 shares on X this month:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Shared recently on Threads:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Spotted on Slack:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Trending via TikTok:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨