Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Breaking via Twitch:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Going viral on Telegram:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Seen just now on Threads:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Making waves on Discord:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🏠💰 "Landlord: I’m raising your rent.
Me: Cool, so is the house getting taller, wider, or just more sarcastic?" 😂🔑

am, bigger, getting, house, housing, humor, i, joke, landlord, me, misunderstanding, money, raising, rent, response, sarcasm, sarcastic, sarcastic response, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, asking, Christmas, holiday, humor, joke, nudes, request, Santa
A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

0

5 months ago

dreamy, fantasy, girl, me, self-confidence, should, sitting, sky, star, whimsical
Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

0

2 months ago

course, critical, critical thinking, critique, humor, i, right, sarcasm, self-awareness, skills, thinking, wit
I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

0

2 months ago

clarity, clear, communication, expectations, humor, i, misunderstanding, mixed, mixed signal, perfectly, relationship, signal, signals, thought
Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

0

4 months ago

Barbie, couple, creator, fact, fun, fun fact, hot, Hot Wheel, husband, marriage, toy, trivia, wheel, wheels, wife
My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

0

2 months ago

Earth, existential, humor, life, love, relationship, soulmate, wondering

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Discord this month:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

57 shares on X this month:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

30 shares on Discord this month:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Trending via Twitch:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Going viral on Messenger:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Just landed via Telegram:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Just shared via Reddit:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Shared recently on Threads:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Spotted on Threads:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨