Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Just landed via Slack:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Going viral on Discord:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Seen just now on Slack:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Just shared via X:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Making waves on Discord:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Embark on a strange journey? I already get lost in Ikea! 🧭🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Instagram this month:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

28 shares on Discord this month:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

89 shares on Threads this month:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Trending via Pinterest:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Seen just now on X:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Just shared via Reddit:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Breaking via Reddit:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Just shared via WeChat:

Rock bottom ain’t even that bad of a place to be if you’re into collecting rocks.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Just landed via X:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

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