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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Spotted on WeChat:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Just shared via Reddit:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Live now on Pinterest:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Just landed via Telegram:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Just landed via Instagram:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Making waves on Messenger:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Just landed via YouTube:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote encouraging adventure with a playful, humorous vibe about taking a weird journey.

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Commentary:
Embark on a strange journey? I already get lost in Ikea! 🧭🤣

adventure, exploration, humor, journey, maybe, should, strange, strange journey, suggestion, travel

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27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

46 shares on Threads this month:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Just shared via Messenger:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Breaking via Slack:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

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Activity Log ✨

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

Keep the laugh going 😂

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨