Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Seen just now on Telegram:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Going viral on WeChat:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Live now on Twitch:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When true love looks like a side dish! 🥔❤️✨ #SpudMates"

again, comfort, comfort food, food, gravy, humor, humorist, love, mashed, mashed potat, met, potat, relationship, soulmate, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

0

2 months ago

asleep, billion, body, brain, fall, humor, insomnia, interesting, night, overthinking, six, sleep, thought, thoughts, time
I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, money, pasta, ramen, vodka
Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

0

2 months ago

bananas, before, brag, bragging, brown, eating, fruit, healthy, healthy snack, humor, i, jealous, jealousy, self-confidence, snack, turned
For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

0

2 months ago

desire, Halloween, humor, i, love, loved
If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

0

2 months ago

food, humor, italian, Italian food, lasagna, pizza, put, stacking, still, top, wordplay
Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

0

5 months ago

age, candy, humor, joke, just, old, old age, original, pocket, snack, werther’s, Werther’s Original

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

56 shares on X this month:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

35 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Just landed via Discord:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Trending via TikTok:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Trending via Facebook:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨