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Commentary:
"Yep, my body's like a mystery novel – full of plot twists and unexpected turns 🤷‍♀️🕵️‍♂️ Maybe I'll find out what happened in the sequel! 📖🔍"

body, fitness, humor, land, self-deprecation, transformation, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

0

2 months ago

home, i, introvert, know, place, social
My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

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3 weeks ago

conflict, control, country, exaggeration, fight, fighting, humor, joke, much, oil, over, skin
I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

0

4 months ago

actually, check, communication, daily, daily routine, day, digital, digital life, email, emails, every, expectation, going, hope, hopes, humor, i, life, life changing, life-changing news, news, procrastination, routine, someday
My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

0

2 months ago

6, avoidance, home, humor, i, life, people, queue, simple, simplicity
Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

0

2 months ago

20, around, ask, demand, fun, having, humor, independence, money, parenting, right, teens, turn
I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

0

2 months ago

computer, connection, history, i, internet, noise, nostalgia, remember, screaming, should, technology, used, warning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on X this month:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Spotted on X:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Going viral on Messenger:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Making waves on Instagram:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨