Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Trending via Pinterest:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Just landed via WeChat:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Just landed via TikTok:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Making waves on YouTube:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Going viral on WeChat:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Live now on Pinterest:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Making waves on Twitch:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, it's all fun and games until your house becomes a sitcom starring unwelcome guests 🏠🚫😂 #HouseRules #NoRoommatesAllowed"

advice, boundary, house, humor, let, matter, move, move in, sad, sad story, story

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

0

2 months ago

behavior, cat, cats, dumb, just, lick, normal, politics, tedium
People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

0

4 months ago

city, city life, ever, humor, interaction, invitation, know, let, life, me, NYC, people, social, social interaction
I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

0

2 months ago

expression, face, humor, i, jealous, jealousy, know, people, shut, silence, subtitles, talking
At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, age, comfort, good, humor, mattress, priorities, sleep, want
I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

0

5 months ago

am, bad, bad mood, beautiful, beautiful day, behavior, better, compulsive, compulsive behavior, day, depressed, depression, dwell, dwelling, humor, i, inside, irony, mood, sarcasm, sit, sitting, sitting inside
Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

0

2 months ago

alone, happiness, happy, humor, irony, money, too, wealth, yes, yours

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

51 shares on Slack this month:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Seen just now on Discord:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Making waves on Instagram:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Making waves on Discord:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Just landed via Instagram:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Trending via Snapchat:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨