Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a crystal ball when you've got a weather app predicting your achy joints and grumpy mood? 🌧️☀️ Embracing the new normal of adulting, one weather check at a time! 📱😅"

age, app, changes, check, checking, growing, growing up, humor, life, life changes, older, technology, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

0

3 months ago

am, cool, day, early, fatigue, feeling, humor, long day, morning, relatable, tired, waking, waking up
The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

0

4 months ago

6, Adele, balance, break, celebrity, humor, management, months, much, music, productivity, time, time management, work, work life, work-life balance, works
Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

0

4 months ago

black, black T-shirt, casual, casual wear, clothing, dining, fine, fine dining, hair, humor, i, mind, owner, pet, pet hair, pet owner, restaurant, t-shirt, wear
I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

0

2 months ago

excitement, humor, i, last, lottery, money, night, peasants, scratch-off, win
Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, always, embarrassed, embarrassment, extraterrestrial, human, humans, humor, joke, unidentified, us
Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, club, dating, humor, jazz, jazz club, problem, taking, woman, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

83 shares on X this month:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

82 shares on Slack this month:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

My lips could use some attention today.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Going bananas on Discord:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Just shared via Snapchat:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Trending via Reddit:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Going viral on Telegram:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Just landed via Threads:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨