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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1795 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,957

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,957

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Live now on TikTok:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Just landed via X:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Breaking via YouTube:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Breaking via Reddit:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Live now on Instagram:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.
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Commentary:
"Who needs a crystal ball when you've got a weather app predicting your achy joints and grumpy mood? 🌧️☀️ Embracing the new normal of adulting, one weather check at a time! 📱😅"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1795 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,957

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,957

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Spotted on X:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Trending via TikTok:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Going viral on Reddit:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Live now on Threads:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Trending via Reddit:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

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