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Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

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Updated

Jan 31, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Spotted on Pinterest:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Spotted on Slack:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Breaking via Slack:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Live now on Slack:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Going viral on Discord:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

2 months ago

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Running late to a meeting I never RSVP'd to, but here we are! 🤷‍♂️🚀⏰

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92 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

32 shares on X this month:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Seen just now on Twitch:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Spotted on Slack:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Trending via TikTok:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Just landed via Messenger:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Going bananas on Telegram:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Trending via Discord:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

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Activity Log ✨

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

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Activity Log ✨

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨