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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has viewed:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has copied:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has copied:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has viewed:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has viewed:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has viewed:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Discord:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Just shared via Discord:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Going viral on Twitch:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Just landed via Threads:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Spotted on Discord:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Anytime a guy says β€œthat’s what she said” always reply with β€œyeah, but not to you”.

Just landed via TikTok:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

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No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.
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Commentary:
Running late to a meeting I never RSVP'd to, but here we are! πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈπŸš€β°

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

23 shares on X this month:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

56 shares on YouTube this month:

When I die I want people to say β€œHmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

87 shares on Threads this month:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Kids be like: β€œNice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

77 shares on TikTok this month:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

65 shares on X this month:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,499

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has downloaded:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, β€œYour guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has viewed:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

Earth is hard.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has copied:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has viewed:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Facebook:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Trending via TikTok:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Just shared via Threads:

I’ll be like β€œit is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Just shared via Facebook:

β€˜Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Trending via Instagram:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Homeless man just called me a β€œloser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Just shared via YouTube:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Going viral on Instagram:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

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