Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Going viral on WeChat:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Trending via Threads:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Just shared via Telegram:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Shared recently on Threads:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Making waves on Messenger:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I guess my spice rack now outranks my social calendar 😂🍳 #AdultingAdventures

age, aging, air, air fryer, cooking, fryer, humor, kitchen, life, life stages, minute, next, stages, wild, young, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

0

3 months ago

eat, food, fridge, going, hands, humor, i, laziness, lemon, lemons, life, me, next, procrastination, put, salad
I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

0

5 months ago

advice, expense, expensive, food, frustration, gardening, grow, humor, i, just, okay, own, posts, sarcasm, think, too, why
The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

0

3 months ago

celebration, effect, humor, kiss, life, play, real, real life, romance, should, sitcom, someone, sound, sound effect, track, whenever
I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, energy, engine, exhaustion, frustration, full, gas, hate, having, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, tank
Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad day, day, every, humor, i, irony, life, life struggle, morning, negativity, single, struggle, woke, woke up
Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

0

2 months ago

8, America, being, capitalism, coffee, consumerism, contradiction, failed, irony, kid, media, only, oppression, phone, post, shoe, social, social media, wealth, wear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

52 shares on Slack this month:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Just shared via TikTok:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Going viral on Messenger:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Going viral on Telegram:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Making waves on Messenger:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Seen just now on X:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨