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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Live now on Pinterest:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Going viral on Twitch:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Just shared via Instagram:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Just landed via Telegram:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the modern struggle of balancing lattes and liberation while rocking designer kicks. Living the dream and questioning it too! 📱💸☕

8, America, being, capitalism, coffee, consumerism, contradiction, failed, irony, kid, media, only, oppression, phone, post, shoe, social, social media, wealth, wear

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

0

2 months ago

around, attitude, baby, belief, believe, care, days, faith, God, here, humor, i, religion, spirituality, trending
If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

0

2 months ago

choice, drama, dramatic, empowerment, exit, finale, humor, independence, leave, Netflix, option, relationship, season, self-respect, treat
Meow means woof in cat.

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, humor, language, means, meow, translation, woof
Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal humor, cats, day, domestic, domestic life, every, gratitude, home, house, humor, i, life, live, me, owner, pet, pet owner, thank
What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

0

2 months ago

couch, funny observation, gathering, humor, observation, people, social, social gathering, Sunday, visit, wrong
Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, cost, day, drinking, erase, every, Facebook, fun, humor, i, liquor, me, memory, nostalgia, show

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

77 shares on Threads this month:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Just landed via X:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Breaking via Threads:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Live now on Snapchat:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Just landed via Messenger:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Meow means woof in cat.

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨