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And I knew my cooking class was a joke when the teacher's idea of "flambe" involved a smoke alarm! 😂🔥📚
FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).
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Embracing winter with open arms and closed doors! ❄️🏡😂
Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.
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Apparently, my therapist just graduated to genius levels! 🤣🧠💡
Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.
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Snow in November is nature's way of saying "slow down, buddy, your tinsel enthusiasm is showing" 🎄❄️😂
Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.
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I'd choose howling over hauling any day! 🐺🐴🤣
It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.
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Guess I'll be gifting everyone homemade IOUs this year! 🎁💸😅
Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.
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Who knew changing the scenery could make the same ol' dance so much fancier? 💃🕺🏨✨
I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.
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Press pause on your chatter, or prepare for a musical déjà vu! 🎵🤐🔁
If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.
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Don't worry, with my trusty tweezers, you'll be the smoothest sleeper in the ICU 😂💤🔍
Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.
Commentary:
Sounds like those guys are about to have a hiss-terical encounter! 🐍😄