Commentary:
When giggle season gets interrupted by bill weather 🌦️💸😂
Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.
Commentary:
Pretending to be a genius undercover as a clueless potato 🥔🤔😂
If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.
Commentary:
Nodding in agreement while my attention span takes a quick vacation! 😂✈️🙈
The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.
Commentary:
Your bank account is living its best life while mine is on a treadmill and still not going anywhere! 💸😅📉
In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.
Commentary:
When your stomach decides it's an opera singer and the elevator is the stage! 🎶🐋🤫
I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.
Commentary:
🔥 When the car's as stunning as the driver… it’s a double-take kinda day! 😎🚗
Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.
Commentary:
When my dog sees me in jeans instead of pajamas, he assumes I'm going to the Met Gala 🐶👖😆
Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.
Commentary:
Looks like the reptiles have updated their vocabulary, watch out for those smooth-talking serpents! 🐍😂🗣️
If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.
Commentary:
Sounds like LMNOP could use some new track shoes! 🏃♂️👟😂
Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.
Commentary:
Smiles can be deceiving; sometimes they're just imagining you as a human campfire! 🔥😄