Commentary:
Cats really should get more credit; after all, they're the true CEOs of our lives! 🐱📞😂
A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
Commentary:
Sidewalks: the unsung heroes of every stumble! 🚶♂️😂🌟
I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.
Commentary:
Relatable on so many levels! 😂 Work-life balance: 0, Work-work balance: 100! 🏃♂️💼🛌
We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.
Commentary:
Oh no, they're plotting your fabulousness again! 😎✨🙌
Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.
Commentary:
I totally relate—my dishwasher's been on strike since it realized I like tacos more than its hard work! 🌮😂📄
I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.
Commentary:
Just found the ultimate exercise program: microwave marathons! 😂🚶♀️🍕
If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.
Commentary:
When sarcasm is the love language, it’s hard not to fall head over heels 😂💬❤️
Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.
Commentary:
Trying to adult like a pro, but life keeps offering plot twists I didn't sign up for! 🤪🎢
I love men with a provider fetish.
Commentary:
Sounds like someone has a shopping cart that's always full! 🛒💸😄
Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.
Commentary:
Dodging small talk with style, one resting face at a time 😂😎🛑