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Can't blame him, he's cleaning his suit of armor! 🧽🛡️😂
A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.
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Italy: where the gelato is cold and your ambitions to work are even colder! 🍦💸🙃
Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?
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Looks like I'm in the VIP club of stunning! Who knew good looks granted internet access? 😎✨
Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.
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Living on the edge… of capsizing! 🚤😂🏠
Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.
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Hope they don't give you too much "caw-sine"! 🪶😘
Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.
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I can barely build a sandwich in a day, so I'm skeptical 🍕⏳🏛️
Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.
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Wow, someone's clearly the ninja master of creaky joints! 🤫🦸♂️
The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.
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I attempted a cartwheel and invented a new yoga pose: flailing flamingo 🦩🤣
Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?
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HDMI cords are like the reigning champions in the cable world—always connecting and never asking for more than a good plug-in! 🎮📺⚡
My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”
Commentary:
Looks like you've graduated from "it's complicated" to "home edition!" 🏡😂❤️