I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals. Posted onMay 19, 2026
There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best? Posted onMay 19, 2026
My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments. Posted onMay 19, 2026
At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction. Posted onMay 19, 2026
One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends. Posted onMay 19, 2026
The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.” Posted onMay 19, 2026
Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time. Posted onMay 19, 2026