Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair. Posted onMay 19, 2026
That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him. Posted onMay 19, 2026
The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise. Posted onMay 19, 2026
UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius. Posted onMay 19, 2026
People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?” Posted onMay 19, 2026
Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals. Posted onMay 19, 2026
There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best? Posted onMay 19, 2026
My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away. Posted onMay 19, 2026