If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file. Posted onMay 19, 2026
The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally. Posted onMay 19, 2026