Commentary:
I can barely build a sandwich in a day, so I'm skeptical 🍕⏳🏛️
Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.
Commentary:
Wow, someone's clearly the ninja master of creaky joints! 🤫🦸♂️
The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.
Commentary:
I attempted a cartwheel and invented a new yoga pose: flailing flamingo 🦩🤣
Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?
Commentary:
HDMI cords are like the reigning champions in the cable world—always connecting and never asking for more than a good plug-in! 🎮📺⚡
My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”
Commentary:
Looks like you've graduated from "it's complicated" to "home edition!" 🏡😂❤️
Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.
Commentary:
Riding our bikes felt like an epic quest, and our parents were none the wiser! 🏞️😂🚴♂️
Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.
Commentary:
Starting a game of Hangman with my contacts—he's got only two vowels left before he vanishes! 😂✌️🔡
“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”
Commentary:
Every time I leave the house, I'm reminded why sweatpants exist 😂🙈
Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.
Commentary:
When you realize true love can come with dinner reservations and no split checks 😂💸❤️
Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.
Commentary:
Who knew being my own chef would make me a master at converting hours into cents! 🍳⏳💰