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Trying to find the point feels like trying to find WiFi in the woods… good luck with that! 🧐📡🌳
My favorite childhood memory is having energy.
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Ah, the good old days when knee cracks weren't part of my morning routine! 😂🔋⚡
“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.
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Giving up was the secret ingredient in my chill smoothie. 🧘♂️🍹😎
Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?
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Just tried, but my life settings menu glitched and only offers "Insane Mode"! 🎮😅✨
I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.
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Feeling ripe today, but give me a week and I'll be guac! 🥑🍷😅
The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.
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Rain's amazing soundtrack is the universe's way of telling you to hit the snooze button one more time! 🌧️😴🎶
Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.
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When Taco Bells ring, angels start their sprinting routine to the celestial bathroom! 🌮😇🚽
Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.
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All I’m saying is, if there’s an elephant in the room, might as well give it a front row seat 🐘🍿😆
“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.
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Being "understanding" is just my crime prevention strategy 😂🚔📜
There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.
Commentary:
Seems like we need an "UNDO" button for compliments on these folks! 😂🔄💬