Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Time travelers facing tough ethical dilemmas: Do we really need to take down baby Hitler, or can we just catch him in his angsty teenage phase? 🕰️👶💥 #ChronoConundrums"

adult, baby, dark, dark humor, gratuitous, Hitler, humor, just, kill, machine, seems, time, time machine, young, young adult

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

0

2 months ago

activity, credit, credit score, ever, financial, fun, fun activity, humor, i, identity, identity theft, just, justice, mischievous, pay, prank, revenge, ruin, sarcasm, score, stole, theft
“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

0

2 months ago

disagreement, humor, individuality, mind, never, own, sarcasm, translation, wrong
Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

0

3 months ago

bio, dating, girlfriend, height, hope, humor, me, profile, put, relationship
Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

0

2 months ago

cause, energy, humor, irony, just, label, loss, medication, read, removal, thinking, warning, weight, weight loss, wishful, wishful thinking, wrinkle, wrinkle removal
I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

0

2 months ago

age, being, childhood, childhood memory, dinosaur, favorite, fun, humor, i, kid, memory, miss, nobody, nostalgia
Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

0

6 months ago

birdwatching, health, hobby, humor, mean, mental, mental health, relaxation, therapy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

92 shares on WeChat this month:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

43 shares on Threads this month:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

51 shares on Discord this month:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

51 shares on Slack this month:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Live now on X:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Spotted on Threads:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Live now on Pinterest:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Shared recently on Discord:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Spotted on Instagram:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Breaking via WeChat:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Just shared via Discord:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Making waves on YouTube:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨