Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Breaking via Facebook:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

0
Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.
Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the original 'Skip Intro' that no one dared to fast-forward 😂🔍🎥 #VHSNostalgia"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

95 shares on Slack this month:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

86 shares on Slack this month:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,418

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Never trust a wet fart.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Shared recently on X:

I have a yearning disability.

Spotted on Slack:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Going viral on YouTube:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Seen just now on Telegram:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Going viral on Messenger:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Trending via Facebook:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Seen just now on X:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴