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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,363

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Seen just now on TikTok:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Seen just now on Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Trending via Messenger:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Breaking via Slack:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Spotted on Threads:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Spreading quickly via X:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

ROMO (relief of missing out)

3 weeks ago

Playful text about overcoming FOMO with a clever twist on relief.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you find out everyone else did yoga before mimosas at 8 AM 🧘🍹 and you're still in bed: #ROMO 😂🛌"

anxiety, FOMO, humor, irony, missing, missing out, relief, social, social anxiety

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Twitch this month:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

81 shares on Slack this month:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Live now on X:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Trending via Twitch:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Going viral on X:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Going viral on Twitch:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Just landed via Instagram:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Going bananas on Twitch:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

ROMO (relief of missing out)

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨