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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Spotted on Discord:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Going viral on Discord:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Seen just now on TikTok:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

2 months ago

0

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the exquisite art of productive idleness! 🤹‍♂️ Embracing the Zen master within while also mastering the skill of couch potato-ing. 🥔💤 Who knew that the most fulfilling hobby could be found in the magnificent abyss of nothingness? Time well spent doing… nothing! 🌟 #MasterOfInaction

asked, doing, favorite, hobby, humor, i, laziness, leisure, me, nothing, relaxation, self-reflection, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

0

3 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, daily, daily life, day, every, humor, life, responsibility, single, struggle, thing, worst
Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

0

2 months ago

avoidance, cardio, count, exercise, fitness, humor, problems, running
Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

0

3 months ago

accident, accidentally, always, asleep, best, couch, falling, funny observation, nap, observation, relaxation, sleep, tiredness
I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

0

2 months ago

competition, creativity, diss, diss track, expression, going, hate, humor, i, love, much, music, personalization, poetry, rivalry, take, track, writing
Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

0

2 months ago

argue, away, ex, humor, just, me, relationship, remind, say, walk
Dance like China isn’t watching.

0

2 months ago

China, dance, expression, freedom, humor, irony, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Slack this month:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

76 shares on X this month:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Trending via Twitch:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Trending via X:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Just landed via Pinterest:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Just shared via WeChat:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Trending via LinkedIn:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Spotted on Reddit:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

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