Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,230

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Just shared via Telegram:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Breaking via YouTube:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

0
Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I knew your nunchuck skills weren't great, but this is a cutting blow! 🥋😂 #SwordUpgradeNeeded"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

33 shares on X this month:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,239

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Making waves on WeChat:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Just shared via Reddit:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Just shared via Messenger:

Time needs a speed limit.

Shared recently on TikTok:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Trending via Snapchat:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴