Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,246

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Trending via Messenger:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Spotted on X:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Live now on Messenger:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Going viral on Twitch:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Shared recently on Slack:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Making waves on Threads:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Trending via Facebook:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, I'd lend a hand but they're too busy expressing skepticism 😂🤷‍♂️ Who knew air quotes could be so demanding?!"

air, air quotes, excuse, hands, help, humor, i, move, moving, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

0

4 months ago

calm, chill, humor, impatience, microwave, time, zero
People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

0

5 months ago

before, behavior, contradiction, here, humor, i, irony, never, people, say
Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

0

2 months ago

back, change, clothing, fashion, giving, giving back, guy, humor, jeans, joke, skinny, society, style, taking, wardrobe, wardrobe change
Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

0

2 months ago

age, breath, breathing, health, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, nostril, once, time, where, youth
Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

0

2 months ago

aspirations, career, five, humor, interview, job, job interview, life, me, procrastination, sabbatical, where, work, work life, yourself
Cool times create cool guys.

0

2 months ago

confidence, cool, cool guy, cool times, create, fun, guy, guys, humor, lifestyle, times

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Discord this month:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

20 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

71 shares on Slack this month:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Spotted on Reddit:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Breaking via Slack:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Cool times create cool guys.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨