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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,965

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Trending via Facebook:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Just shared via Slack:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Spotted on Threads:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, I'd lend a hand but they're too busy expressing skepticism 😂🤷‍♂️ Who knew air quotes could be so demanding?!"

air, air quotes, excuse, hands, help, humor, i, move, moving, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

1 month ago
cell, cell phone, comedy, distraction, humor, i, irony, phone, put, ring, rings, technology, yes
I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

3 months ago
90s, anyone, back, going, humor, invitation, nostalgia, throwback, time, time travel, travel, wants
Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

2 months ago
blood, capri, Capri Sun, cup, drink, humor, legally, legs, mosquito, required, something, summer, sun
Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

1 month ago
adult, best, best era, childhood, era, growing, growing up, kid, opinion, unpopular, unpopular opinion, worst, worst era
Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

3 months ago
change, chaos, couch, here, home, humor, i, mix, new, over, relaxation, sit, sitting, sitting spot, spot, things, thought, today
Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

1 month ago
entertainment, forget, humor, interests, Pornhub, preferences, seeing, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, streaming, wrapped

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Just landed via X:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Going viral on Reddit:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Spotted on Threads:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Spotted on Telegram:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Going viral on Discord:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

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Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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