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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,388

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Breaking via TikTok:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Live now on Pinterest:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Trending via WeChat:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Just shared via Slack:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, I'd lend a hand but they're too busy expressing skepticism 😂🤷‍♂️ Who knew air quotes could be so demanding?!"

air, air quotes, excuse, hands, help, humor, i, move, moving, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

0

2 months ago

conversations, explanations, good, humor, i, morning, relationship, routine, saying, sleep, straight, wife
Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

0

2 months ago

beer, drink, drinking, fortune, fun, humor, me, people, perspective, relaxation, travel, world
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

0

2 months ago

asleep, fall, humor, love, relationship, rest, sleep, why
If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

0

2 months ago

God, humor, irony, know, money, people, perspective, want, wealth
Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

0

2 months ago

amazing, car, floor, hair, humor, men, people, product, same, teeth, washing
Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

0

2 months ago

activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, learning, less, Macarena, nothing, paid, regret, time, wasted, wasted time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Threads this month:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Live now on WeChat:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Shared recently on X:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Making waves on Reddit:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Going viral on Threads:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Going viral on Telegram:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Just landed via Messenger:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Making waves on Twitch:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨