Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.