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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Going viral on Slack:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Making waves on Facebook:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Broadcasted on Threads:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Shared recently on Slack:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Going bananas on Twitch:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.
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Commentary:
Someone's been chewing on idioms instead of their veggies! 😂🌿🥦

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

71 shares on Reddit this month:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

51 shares on Threads this month:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Making waves on Messenger:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Making waves on Slack:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Live now on Threads:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Just landed via TikTok:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Most attractive muscle on a man? The frontal lobe. Fully developed.

Trending via YouTube:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

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