Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

431 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,700

Funny Quotes Topics

17,718

Funny Quotes Images

15,700

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Trending via Reddit:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Just landed via Instagram:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Breaking via Threads:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Spotted on Facebook:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

1 day ago

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Commentary:
Relatable content alert: proof that even I can't stand how awesome I am for a solid 24 hours a day 😂🤷‍♂️

daily, daily struggle, day, exist, existence, fact, humor, i, irritation, least, me, once, reflection, sarcasm, self, self-reflection, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

2 months ago

comedy, cut, financial, financial situation, humor, i, joke, money, short, situation, spent, story, storytelling
How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

3 months ago

actually, adult, adult content, age, content, found, humor, innocence, love, old, people, porn, realization, relationship
When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

2 months ago

avocado, change, core, going, hard, hard core, humor, someone, stupid, surprise, toy
Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

3 months ago

accident, distraction, food, humor, i, jelly, mean, media, mistake, phone, social, social media, tweet
My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

2 months ago

anyone, body, emotion, ever, handle, humor, love, loving, relationship, romantic, romantic relationship, self-deprecation, stress
How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

2 months ago

dip, early, exit, exit strategy, food, gracefully, humor, i, leave, leave early, me, party, queso, queso dip, situation, social, social situation, strategy, take

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Slack this month:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

88 shares on Telegram this month:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

55 shares on X this month:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Shared recently on Discord:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Just landed via YouTube:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Breaking via TikTok:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Going bananas on Instagram:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Just shared via WeChat:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Live now on Reddit:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Trending via Reddit:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨