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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

47 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Shared recently on WeChat:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Just shared via Reddit:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Making waves on Slack:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Reported on YouTube:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

6 months ago

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the female brain – akin to the internet, where nothing truly disappears! 🤯🙈 It's like trying to erase that embarrassing photo from your phone, only for it to resurface at the most inconvenient moment! 📸💥 So remember, be careful what you input into the female brain – it has a mind of its own! 😉💭

brain, delete, female, female brain, gone, humor, internet, memory, never, never gone, psychology, something, works

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

47 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on X:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Spotted on Messenger:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Seen just now on Discord:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Making waves on Twitch:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Freshly posted on X:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Reported on X:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

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