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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,357

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Trending via Messenger:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Shared recently on Discord:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Going viral on Threads:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Just landed via Telegram:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Just landed via Discord:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Just landed via Discord:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Just landed via Instagram:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Making waves on Twitch:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

3 hours ago

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Commentary:
When your buddy thinks they're playing chess but they're actually just the first domino 😂♟️🔄

friend, grand, grand scheme, homie, humor, just, manipulation, pawn, scheme, strategy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, age, humor, milestone, perception, teenager, welcome
My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

0

2 months ago

account, always, bank, bank account, dishwasher, humor, joint, kitchen, me, relationship, something, trust, walks, wife
No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

0

2 months ago

confidence, downfall, humor, i, involvement, longer, prayer, praying, sarcasm, teasing
This Monday has Monday written all over it.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, Monday, motivation, over, relatable, sarcasm, weekday, workweek
I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

0

2 months ago

break, humor, i, night, only, phone, rest, sleep, technology
Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

0

4 weeks ago

accomplish, cartoon, collaboration, funny thought, got, humor, imagination, jerry, just, once, partnership, teamwork, thought, together, tom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

61 shares on Discord this month:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

What are cats even trying to do?

67 shares on X this month:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

49 shares on Telegram this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

27 shares on X this month:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Breaking via Twitch:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Live now on TikTok:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Trending via Slack:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Broadcasted on X:

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨