Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,704

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Just shared via WeChat:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Spotted on Twitch:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Seen just now on X:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Spotted on TikTok:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living on the edge: where the night owl meets the morning zombie 😂🦉☕🌝

bedtime, end, free, free time, late, management, most, night, procrastination, reason, sleep, start, stay, stay up late, time, time management, tomorrow, us, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

4 weeks ago

adversity, guy, humor, just, life, motivation, nobody, remember, right, sarcasm, struggle, worse
My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

2 months ago

comfort, day, favorite, home, house, introvert, lazy, lazy day, leave, leisure, relaxation, stay, stay home, thing, weekend
So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

2 months ago

comedy, excuses, humor, irony, rude, self-deprecation, solutions
I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

2 months ago

aid, hearing, hearing aid, joke, off, tired, turn, turn off
I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

2 months ago

bumper, bumper sticker, humor, i, irony, observation, read, reading, self-deprecating, sticker, stupid
I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

6 months ago

alanis, Alanis concert, apology, caught, cheating, concert, humor, husband, i, infidelity, know, lyric, music, music concert, relationship, song, song lyric, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on X this month:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

47 shares on X this month:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

42 shares on Threads this month:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Trending via Telegram:

January: the Monday of months.

Making waves on Threads:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Trending via Slack:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Going viral on Twitch:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Just shared via TikTok:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Spotted on Reddit:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Breaking via Twitch:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨