Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,999

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Live now on X:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Live now on Instagram:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Spotted on TikTok:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Just shared via Threads:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Just landed via YouTube:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living on the edge: where the night owl meets the morning zombie 😂🦉☕🌝

bedtime, end, free, free time, late, management, most, night, procrastination, reason, sleep, start, stay, stay up late, time, time management, tomorrow, us, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

0

1 month ago

activity, app, apps, dating, depot, fun, fun activity, gentlemen, home, Home Depot, humor, relationship, social, working
The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

0

1 month ago

activity, around, bed, being, best, fun, fun activity, humor, independence, middle, over, relationships, right, single, sleep, sleeping
My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

0

2 months ago

AI, artificial intelligence, cat, ChatGPT, comparison, dinner, eating, friends, friendship, humor, me, pets, vomit
Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

0

1 month ago

after, away, chip, chips, craving, eating, food, humor, love, me, people, reaction, saying, snack
Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

0

2 months ago

centipede, flip, flip flop, flop, footwear, humor, imagination, imagine, sound, tiny
Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

0

1 month ago

activity, balance, entertainment, focus, fun, fun activity, job, procrastination, quitting, watching, work life, work-life balance, YouTube

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

78 shares on Threads this month:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

48 shares on Discord this month:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Going viral on TikTok:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Trending via WeChat:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Seen just now on WeChat:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Making waves on Telegram:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Broadcasted on X:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨