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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,691

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Shared recently on Threads:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Spotted on YouTube:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Spotted on TikTok:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Just landed via Discord:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time to trade my 9-5 for a future where I'm known as the legendary couch potato 🛋️✨ #Priorities

9-5, 9-5 job, 95, history, human, human history, job, legacy, life, memory, person, single, spending, work, work life, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

0

2 months ago

4, chasing, clout, exaggeration, humor, joke, media, row, sneeze, social, social media, wrap
Ugh, but profoundly.

0

2 months ago

attitude, expression, frustration, humor, irony, remark, sarcasm, ugh, witty, witty remark
Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

0

2 months ago

another, election, good, hear, humor, idea, just, me, president, promise
My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

0

5 months ago

accident, animal, bird, flying, humor, spirit, spirit animal, unconscious, window, Windows
Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

0

2 months ago

communication, damage, humor, i, joke, psychic, sarcasm
When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

0

2 months ago

age, exactly, feel, getting, getting older, humor, i, irony, just, kick, life, older, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on X this month:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Spotted on X:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Freshly posted on X:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Just shared via Messenger:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Going viral on TikTok:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Breaking via Pinterest:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Ugh, but profoundly.

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨