Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Going viral on Slack:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Making waves on YouTube:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Just landed via Facebook:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Spotted on Facebook:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
So true! Just like I know my cat *only* meows at me because I'm special 😹🎤🍸

after, artist, bartender, city, concert, flirt, humor, interaction, liked, most, show, social, social interaction, thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

0

2 months ago

adventure, humor, misunderstanding, ride, sunset
As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

0

2 months ago

before, change, changing, humor, i, irony, password, people, politics, president, same, security
Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

0

2 months ago

being, Chainsmokers, closer, college, dropped, experience, least, music, nostalgia, party, say, youth
The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

0

2 months ago

day, early, humor, humor quote, i, lifestyle, morning, motivation, over, procrastination, start, waking, waking up
Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

0

2 months ago

case, date, deleted, famous, famous woman, fans, humor, i, just, media, old, privacy, rabid, relationship, social, social media, Tweets, woman
Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

0

2 months ago

commitment, commitment issue, dating, humor, issue, issues, love, low, oh, relationship, sarcasm, self-worth, situationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on X this month:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

52 shares on Discord this month:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

66 shares on Reddit this month:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

50 shares on Discord this month:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Just shared via Reddit:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Just shared via WeChat:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Just shared via Messenger:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Going viral on X:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Seen just now on Reddit:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Live now on LinkedIn:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Making waves on Twitch:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨