Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Trending via X:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Just landed via Reddit:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Just landed via Slack:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Going viral on Discord:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Making waves on Slack:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Trending via Twitch:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Spotted on YouTube:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect recipe for a "What just happened?" casserole! 🤪🎢🎉

blend, chaos, experience, fun, having, humor, life, life experience, losing, losing mind, me, mind, perfect, perfect blend, time, time of life, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

0

3 months ago

al, am, avoid, baby, caffeine, forefather, full, i, nicotine, night, paper, procrastination
I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

0

2 months ago

cold, deserve, humor, i, irony, self-reflection, suffer, understand, winter
I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

0

2 months ago

aliens, annoyance, glasses, hate, humor, i, insect, invasion, mind, mind trick, outdoor, outside, second, think, trick, unexpected
Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

0

2 months ago

adventure, everyone, Gollum, hermit, hiss, hissing, idea, jewels, lakes, lifestyle, naked, occasionally, people, places, pools, right, solitude, swim, swimming, try
Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, adulting, home, income, lessons, life, life lessons, need, partner, peaceful, realization, realize, responsibility, stability, stable
Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

0

2 months ago

avocado, celebration, cheers, food, humor, kitchen, perfectly, ripe, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

47 shares on X this month:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

12 shares on X this month:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Going viral on Facebook:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Breaking via Discord:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Going viral on WeChat:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Trending via Reddit:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Spotted on YouTube:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨