Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Making waves on Discord:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Shared recently on Facebook:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Breaking via Discord:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Just landed via Slack:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Breaking via WeChat:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why do I suddenly feel a deep connection with ants? 🐜 Pro-level procrastination inspiration! 🙌😄

ant, ants, anything, busy, colony, fact, funny fact, half, humor, i, just, learned, looking, much, only, pretend, pretending, respect, task, today, work, worker, worker ant

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

0

2 months ago

brightness, charisma, confidence, humor, ignore, impact, impossible, necessary, presence, self-esteem, sun
“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

0

4 months ago

back, bed, fantasy, going, humor, i, morning, procrastination, sleep, tiredness, waking, waking up, woke
How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

0

2 months ago

before, exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, motivation, say, sit-up, six-pack, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking
Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

0

6 months ago

2022, before, ChatGPT, chopper, comparison, entry-level, entry-level job, getting, humor, impact, job, job market, last, last chopper, market, realize, release, taking, technology, technology impact, Vietnam
Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

0

2 months ago

adulting, clean, cleaning, drink, fridge, going, humor, need, procrastination, responsible, thing, wine
My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

0

5 months ago

back, chair, chairs, household, humor, husband, just, laziness, magic, marriage, push, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

82 shares on Discord this month:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

74 shares on Discord this month:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Trending via Pinterest:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Trending via Threads:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Live now on X:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Just landed via Twitch:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Making waves on Twitch:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Live now on Threads:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Going bananas on WeChat:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨