Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Making waves on Twitch:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Trending via WeChat:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Making waves on WeChat:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Spotted on Twitch:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like I've been chain-smoking with my eyeballs! 👀🚬😂

addiction, cigarette, eye, eyes, humor, media, social, social media, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

1 month ago

day, fitness, gym, humor, joke, leg, leg day, misunderstanding, self-care, shaving
In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

2 months ago

autumn, change, cold, darkness, distant, equinox, fall, fall equinox, filled, honor, humor, i, seasonal, seasonal change, wit
Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

2 months ago

eating, fruit, healthy, healthy eating, humor, snack, summer, watermelon, workout
Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

2 months ago

back, comedy, critique, damage, forget, horrible, humor, joke, last, people, polio, political, political critique, political joke, political satire, satire, socialism, time
I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

2 months ago

1984, forgetfulness, humor, irony, kitchen, memory, nostalgia, song, word
I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

3 months ago

adult, am, cartoons, childhood, discussion, full, hole, humor, i, listen, me, patrol, paw, PAW Patrol, plot, plot hole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Twitch this month:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

64 shares on Slack this month:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

29 shares on X this month:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Going bananas on X:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Spotted on Discord:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Live now on Twitch:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Live now on TikTok:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Breaking via Snapchat:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Shared recently on Instagram:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Live now on WeChat:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Making waves on Reddit:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨