Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,738

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Spotted on Discord:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Trending via YouTube:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Trending via WeChat:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Shared recently on TikTok:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Back at my parents' house—I’m reverting faster than a time-traveling teenager! 🕰️👶🙃

2, days, family, family visit, growth, home, house, humor, life, parents, personal, personal growth, regression, visit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

0

2 months ago

bad, business, change, every, francisco, God, humor, just, neighborhood, never, san, San Francisco, seen, sidewalks, skeleton, spiderweb, things
My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

0

2 months ago

air, air conditioning, chore, conditioning, doing, fight, household, household chore, humor, husband, i, relationship, storm, storm off, work, yard, yard work
Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

0

2 months ago

arm, arms, clap, dead, dinosaur, fact, funny fact, humor, irony, people, short, short arm, T-Rex, think
I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

0

2 months ago

accomplishing, humor, laziness, nothing, productivity, proud, self-esteem, well-being
Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

0

2 months ago

asking, awareness, battle, conversation, drinking, empathy, every, fighting, health, humor, know, meet, nothing, person, support, water, worse
Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

0

4 months ago

approach, doing, humor, me, method, nobody, originality, right, self-deprecation, unconventional, uniqueness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

34 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

27 shares on Threads this month:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Just shared via Twitch:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Just landed via WeChat:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Spotted on WeChat:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Breaking via YouTube:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨