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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,572

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Live now on Snapchat:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Spotted on Twitch:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Going viral on Discord:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Judging by your driving skills, I'm guessing you think Mario Kart is a reality show 🚗🍌😂"

activity, competition, fun, fun activity, game, gaming, humor, insult, Kart, Mario, Mario Kart, skills, suck, video, video game

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

0

5 months ago

attitude, communication, every, honesty, humor, i, love, meant, people, said, sarcasm, statement, truth, word
Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

0

2 months ago

advice, care, cleanliness, confidence, hair, humor, just, listen, personal, personal care, self-image, thoughts, true, yourself
The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

0

2 months ago

aggressive, bro, chill, come out, getting, humor, morning, pee, threaten, urge
Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

0

5 months ago

actually, attraction, communication, crush, dating, easy, flirting, humor, love, nervousness, relationship, someone
Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

0

2 months ago

commandment, humor, interaction, just, neighbor, read, religion, rules, shit, ten, time
Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

0

2 months ago

age, humor, i, irony, numeral, old, old people, people, roman, Roman numeral, understand, understanding, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on YouTube this month:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

49 shares on X this month:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

31 shares on Telegram this month:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

88 shares on Threads this month:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

93 shares on Instagram this month:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Just shared via Twitch:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Seen just now on X:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Going viral on X:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Going viral on TikTok:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Breaking via Reddit:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨