Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Shared recently on WeChat:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Breaking via Reddit:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Just shared via WeChat:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Making waves on X:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

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Commentary:
😂⏰ "11:00 am: 'The world is my oyster!' 🦪 3:00 pm: 'I'll just stick to Netflix instead.' 🍿📺"

am, anything, attitude, daily, daily routine, humor, motivation, possibility, procrastination, routine, time, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

0

5 months ago

expression, flirtation, God, humor, i, nervous, oh, say, surprise, want
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

0

4 weeks ago

always, ambition, aspiration, childhood, ever, girl, humor, i, little, lot, money, wanted, woman
Later is the best time to do anything.

0

2 months ago

best, best time, humor, later, management, procrastination, time, time management
Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

0

4 days ago

expense, expensive, humor, marriage, miserable, misery, most, relationship, ways
Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

0

2 months ago

appearance, behavior, clothes, dog, funny observation, home, homeless, humor, knows, leaving, nice, observation, only, pet, pet behavior, put
If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

0

2 months ago

assume, communication, distracted, distraction, got, humor, i, message, reply, response, texting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

66 shares on X this month:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

41 shares on Slack this month:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

69 shares on X this month:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Just landed via X:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Making waves on Instagram:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Breaking via Facebook:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Just landed via TikTok:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Trending via Snapchat:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Just landed via Messenger:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Spotted on X:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Later is the best time to do anything.

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨