11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.