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Oh, so God is out here playing 4D chess with your life plan, huh? 🤯 Maybe there's a divine purpose behind all these plot twists and turns – just roll with it, you might end up with a super cool story to tell! 🙏✨ #DivineComedyLivesOn

fate, God, gods, humor, life, me, plan, super, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

1 month ago
body, corporate, expensive, feels, fragrance, full, humor, office, perfume, scent, setting, should, under, waste, weight, work
I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

1 month ago
9, advice, before, career, casual, casual dating, dating, going, humor, i, life, life advice, long-term, long-term relationship, recommend, relationship, relationships, sleep
Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

1 month ago
app, communication, humor, relationship, talk, technology, where, wife, WifeChat
It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

1 month ago
church, clicking, devil, humor, ignored, irony, procrastination, relaxation, sitting, sleep, Sunday
In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

1 month ago
20s, 40s, adulthood, age, changes, expectations, humor, i, just, life, life changes, love, me, relationships, toaster, true, true love, want
Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

5 months ago
after, car, home, humor, men, minutes, question, stay, waiting, why

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Shared recently on X:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Making waves on Discord:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Just landed via Threads:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

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Activity Log ✨

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

You wish you had this many chins.

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

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God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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