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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,876

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Making waves on Pinterest:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Oops! I think I need to file this under 'Mission Impossible'. 🍫🔍😬

candy, child, eating, family, helping, humor, i, lie, M&M, nephew, search, snack, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

2 weeks ago
20s, advice, binge, entertainment, going, important, play, press, show, Sopranos, The Sopranos, TV, TV Show, twenty, urge
Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

1 month ago
always, attractive, barbecue, cooking, dating, food, forget, humor, pheromones, scent, smells
Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

1 month ago
alert, consequences, humor, karma, pay, people, price, relationships, spoiler, treat, treated
Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

1 month ago
activity, excuse, humor, i, imagination, mental, mental activity, oh, overthinking, right, sorry, things, worry, worrying
People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

1 month ago
caution, change, change clothes, clothes, glass, glass house, house, houses, humor, irony, live, people, privacy, vulnerability
Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

1 month ago
back, both, change, channel, childhood, day, exaggeration, humor, nostalgia, technology, TV, uphill, walk, ways

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Just shared via Instagram:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Going viral on X:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

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Activity Log ✨

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

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Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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