Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Live now on WeChat:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Just landed via Instagram:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Shared recently on Facebook:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Just landed via X:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Just landed via WeChat:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Spotted on WeChat:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Trending via Discord:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Pretending to be a pirate at the grocery store keeps life spicy! 🏴‍☠️🛒🙃

acting, age, bad, behavior, fun, humor, little, never, playfulness, spent, thing, time, youthfulness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

0

2 months ago

awkward, ex, ex-partner, humor, i, information, news, piece, relationship, saw, unnecessary
There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

0

2 months ago

attempt, failure, hate, humor, i, nap, nothing, rest, sleep
Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

0

6 days ago

able, being, fantasy, huge, humor, inconvenience, me, technology, teleport, travel, wish
I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

0

2 months ago

communication, fandom, fluency, humor, i, love, people, reference, references, Spongebob
Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

0

7 days ago

butter, cooking, emphasis, enough, food, food preference, humor, i, preference, salted, salted butter, seasoning, stress
That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

0

2 months ago

binge-watching, blues, crisis, direction, downtime, entertainment, existential, existential crisis, humor, know, life, life direction, lost, moment, post-series, post-series blues, sery, shows, TV, TV sery, watching, watching shows

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

22 shares on X this month:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Spotted on Instagram:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Going viral on Slack:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Seen just now on Facebook:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Seen just now on X:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Just shared via Facebook:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨