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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Spotted on TikTok:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Earth is hard.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Live now on Telegram:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Breaking via Messenger:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Breaking via TikTok:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your blanket just initiated fight club! 🥊🛏️😂

accident, accident humor, accidentally, blanket, clumsy, describe, face, fail, humor, i, know, life, myself, pull, punch, relatable, self-harm, trying, while

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

0

2 months ago

dating, humor, joke, pics, pizza, start, unsolicited, women
Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

0

3 months ago

childhood, digital, digital toy, euthanasia, humor, pet, Tamagotchi, toy, virtual, virtual pet
IP address? You mean the bathroom?

0

5 months ago

address, bathroom, humor, ip, IP address, joke, mean, misunderstanding, technology
Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

0

3 months ago

cause, communication, conversation, heavy, humor, just, listening, mhm, people, talking
Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

0

2 months ago

amount, body, bueno, chocolate, cravings, humor, humor quote, indulgence, kinder, Kinder Bueno, listen, snack, temptation
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, dieting, feels, fitness, good, health, humor, image, loss, motivation, nothing, self-esteem, skinny, weight, weight loss

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on TikTok this month:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Seen just now on Messenger:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Live now on Messenger:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Just landed via Threads:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Just shared via Twitch:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨