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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,253

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Trending via YouTube:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Just landed via YouTube:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Just shared via Twitch:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Breaking via Facebook:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

3 weeks ago

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Why is it that ducklings can master swimming on their first day, while I'm still trying to figure out my washing machine? 🐥🌀

15, animal, animals, humor, instinct, know, life, life skill, minutes, newborn, old, skill

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72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

88 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I am thick and tired.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Just shared via YouTube:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Making waves on Telegram:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Live now on Twitch:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

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Activity Log ✨

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨