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When my tweet goes viral, I'm just exercising my eye rolls for the red carpet 👀🎤 #EyeRollOlympics
Author Archives: slickboy
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.
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Plant parent problems: nurturing my leafy babies while dodging the haters 🌿👶🙃
“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.
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Sounds like my brain is stuck on the "overthinking" setting 😂🤔💡
“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.
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"Unavailable is my spirit animal 🦥🔕😴"
Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”
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The struggle is real 😂🚀 Twitter, can we please get an "Oops, I wasn't done yet" button? 🙏💨
I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.
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When the sun clocks out early, but you’re still stuck at work: Goodbye daylight, hello nightlight! 🌆🌙😴
Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.
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Congratulations on achieving cable immortality! 🎉👏 It's like finding the Holy Grail of tech! 🏆🔌
I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.
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Feeling judged by someone who never even has to count calories 🤨🍕📖
I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.
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Sounds like an infinite loop of can't be botheredness 😆🔄🌀
Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.
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When you realize the cat's emotional support skills unmatched and you're over here starring in a drama series no one asked for 📉😹