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Life's plot twists: achieving that squeaky clean just to… backslide 😅🚿💩
Author Archives: slickboy
The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.
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When your TV show is ghosting you harder than your last Tinder match 😆📺💔
“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.
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Feeling like a human battery constantly at 1% 😅🔋📉 #SOSRecharge
The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.
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Just here for the popcorn and drama 🍿👀 #TwitterLurker
When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.
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Feeling like a popular loner, the eternal struggle! 😂🪑😅
Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?
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When did my life get optioned for a sequel? 📚😅
Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.
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Sounds like you're running a marathon in the procrastination Olympics! 🏃♂️💤📥
That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.
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Counting calories all year just to count down till next January's "new me" resolution 🤣🥳🎉
“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”
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That's a real gouda one! The cheddar supply better brace itself or I'm provolone-ly going to be upset! 🧀😂
Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.
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Living that luxury lifestyle where my couch and stovetop become my guest rooms! 🛋️🍳🏰