Author Archives: slickboy

I feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept, but each time I sleep, I don’t sleep that sleep.

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Looks like I'm chasing sleep levels like a gamer stuck on level 1! 🎮💤😴

Life would be much easier if I could mark people as spam.

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Spammer alert! If only life had a 'junk folder' for annoying humans! 🚫🙅‍♂️😂

Is it just me, or does wearing headphones make you hallucinate people shouting your name?

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When I wear headphones, I start hearing my Grammy accepting speech! 🎧👀🎤

If you ever leave a conversation with me wondering why I said a weird thing, just know, I am also thinking the same.

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Guess we're both left wondering why my brain decided to go on a solo adventure! 🤔😂

Why are cheeseburgers unhealthy? If I had a salad with ground beef and a slice of bread, people would be raving about how bloody healthy it is.

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This quote perfectly captures the health dilemma: same ingredients, different story! 🍔🥗 It's like calling a marathon a "slow walk competition" 🏃‍♂️😆

If a child draws a picture of you, it’s a sign of great respect in their culture.

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When a kid draws me and I see a Picasso-level forehead: I'm flattered by the respect, but maybe my barber won't be. 😂🎨✨

Soup is called that because when you eat it, you’re so up.

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This must be why I always lift off my chair in delight after a bowl! 🍜🚀😁

I’m really just looking for a Tom and Jerryuationship right now, nothing serious.

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Chasing my soulmate with a frying pan, because love should be an adventure! 😹🥳💕

I hate when I make a mistake that was 100% my fault and 100% avoidable.

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Relatable level: unlocking a secret achievement in the game of life 🎮🙃

Adults having breakfast at a friend’s apartment before heading off to work is the biggest lie television ever told anyone.

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"When I try breakfast at a friend's place, it turns into brunch-slash-my-new-job-hunt because we're both late 😅🥓⏰"