Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Live now on TikTok:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Seen just now on Slack:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Breaking via Discord:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Making waves on Facebook:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Just shared via Reddit:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Making waves on YouTube:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"LOL, around here, our WiFi password is 'Faith4Life'! 📶🙏🤣"

around, attitude, baby, belief, believe, care, days, faith, God, here, humor, i, religion, spirituality, trending

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, decorate, decoration, fact, holiday, humor, know, November, people, premature, snow, stop, weather
Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, attempt, connection, consolation, consolation prize, cruelty, dating, failed, friendship, humor, prize, rejection, relationship, romantic, romantic connection
If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

0

2 months ago

alone, entertainment, humor, questions, relationship, show, TV, TV Show, woman
At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

0

2 months ago

activity, club, dancer, fun, fun activity, humor, me, nightlife, sighing, strip, strip club, what’s, what’s wrong, wrong
Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

0

3 months ago

communication, deaf, family, girlfriend, humor, loud, misunderstanding, mum, need, needs, relationship, slow, speak, special, special need, told
People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

0

2 months ago

cheese, choice, food, happiness, humor, life, people, sadness, simple, simple life

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

70 shares on Threads this month:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Shared recently on Discord:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Trending via Slack:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨